Monday, July 31, 2006
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Day #25
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Day #24
Friday, July 28, 2006
Day #23
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Day #22
Hey there,
I almost actually forgot - our 2 month "anniversary" of our first text message. You prolly din bother to remember.
It's scary cuz u're beginning to feel like a distant memory, a movie i watched long ago. So unreal.
If that's how i feel bout u, i shudder to think of how u feel about me. :-(
I almost actually forgot - our 2 month "anniversary" of our first text message. You prolly din bother to remember.
It's scary cuz u're beginning to feel like a distant memory, a movie i watched long ago. So unreal.
If that's how i feel bout u, i shudder to think of how u feel about me. :-(
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Day #21
Hey there,
OK, OK, OK. So u did the quiz thingy. So yr kind of guy is a cancer. Fine. Go for cancerman, then.
If he was all that wonderful, then why did you issue that cry for help? And why did i come flying to you when i read that?
I just wish i could forget you and get on wif me life.
I know i can't...
OK, OK, OK. So u did the quiz thingy. So yr kind of guy is a cancer. Fine. Go for cancerman, then.
If he was all that wonderful, then why did you issue that cry for help? And why did i come flying to you when i read that?
I just wish i could forget you and get on wif me life.
I know i can't...
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Day #20
Hey there,
I guess since u won't be reading this, it's safe for me to talk about why u shudn't consider "T"??? :-P
It's always easy to talk when u are on the outside looking in, no feelings involved. OK - so i got feelings - for you, and that only makes it worse!
It's just that i was reading another blog today about this girl who is wif this guy hoping that he'll change.
Can't u see that that's so wrong? U dun love a person for who he can be. You love him for who he is.
I know cuz i've made the mistake before. It's so funny in a sense cuz u are goin thru all that i've been thru! I jus hope that u'll realise... soon.
I guess since u won't be reading this, it's safe for me to talk about why u shudn't consider "T"??? :-P
It's always easy to talk when u are on the outside looking in, no feelings involved. OK - so i got feelings - for you, and that only makes it worse!
It's just that i was reading another blog today about this girl who is wif this guy hoping that he'll change.
Can't u see that that's so wrong? U dun love a person for who he can be. You love him for who he is.
I know cuz i've made the mistake before. It's so funny in a sense cuz u are goin thru all that i've been thru! I jus hope that u'll realise... soon.
Monday, July 24, 2006
Day #19
Hey there,
A scary thought came to me the otehr day. Well, not really a thought but sumthing a mate said to me previously. She said that soul-mates dun usually end up together.
Then i was reading someone else's blog about this wedding, how the couple despite of their differences manage to stay together all these while and now have committed themselves by their wedding vows.
It's not the first time i've heard stories like that. In fact, i only hear stories like that. Do u ever hear of soul-mates ending up together? I mean in real life! Usually, it's the opposites which attract, the differences which complement.
Why am i ranting about all this? Well, it's cuz i think of u as my soul mate. I feel wat u feel. I know wat u are going thru. i understand yr choices - cuz i had made the same or would make the same. Hey, even our results on the blogthings quizzes are the same!!!!!!!!!!!! ;-P
So does this mean we'll never end up together?
Well, if tt's the case, we sure are heading in the right direction now.... :-(
A scary thought came to me the otehr day. Well, not really a thought but sumthing a mate said to me previously. She said that soul-mates dun usually end up together.
Then i was reading someone else's blog about this wedding, how the couple despite of their differences manage to stay together all these while and now have committed themselves by their wedding vows.
It's not the first time i've heard stories like that. In fact, i only hear stories like that. Do u ever hear of soul-mates ending up together? I mean in real life! Usually, it's the opposites which attract, the differences which complement.
Why am i ranting about all this? Well, it's cuz i think of u as my soul mate. I feel wat u feel. I know wat u are going thru. i understand yr choices - cuz i had made the same or would make the same. Hey, even our results on the blogthings quizzes are the same!!!!!!!!!!!! ;-P
So does this mean we'll never end up together?
Well, if tt's the case, we sure are heading in the right direction now.... :-(
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Day #18
Hey there,
I guess i blew it... again, din i? Pushed you away?
Funny thing is that i dun regret it. Not yet, anyway. I'm not gonna jus fade away. I'm gonna remind time and again how i feel for you - lest u forget, lest u think i'm slowy getting over you.
Have a good week ahead (and one free from me, i promise).
I guess i blew it... again, din i? Pushed you away?
Funny thing is that i dun regret it. Not yet, anyway. I'm not gonna jus fade away. I'm gonna remind time and again how i feel for you - lest u forget, lest u think i'm slowy getting over you.
Have a good week ahead (and one free from me, i promise).
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Day #17
Hey there,
Jus to elaborate further on wat i said to u earlier (in our blog).
I missed the time we shared together - the chats we have on MSN, the phone calls - yes, especially the calls. I miss hearing yr voice, yr laugh and picturing your smile in me mind. I miss all the text messages i'd get from u which brighten up me day. I miss e-mails from u.
Is it so hard for u to realise that... to realise the obvious?
Jus to elaborate further on wat i said to u earlier (in our blog).
I missed the time we shared together - the chats we have on MSN, the phone calls - yes, especially the calls. I miss hearing yr voice, yr laugh and picturing your smile in me mind. I miss all the text messages i'd get from u which brighten up me day. I miss e-mails from u.
Is it so hard for u to realise that... to realise the obvious?
Friday, July 21, 2006
Day #16
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Day #15
Hey there,
Your timing is really good. It prevented me from calling you!!! i really wanted to, to find out how u are. And to find out if this is really wat u want - me not contacting you. I suddenly had this horror realisation that you think i dun wanna contact u so u are giving me my "space".
Reading yr letter tho raised much questions, no answers.
Watched Superman today. Cried so much. I'm really so emotional lately...
Your timing is really good. It prevented me from calling you!!! i really wanted to, to find out how u are. And to find out if this is really wat u want - me not contacting you. I suddenly had this horror realisation that you think i dun wanna contact u so u are giving me my "space".
Reading yr letter tho raised much questions, no answers.
Watched Superman today. Cried so much. I'm really so emotional lately...
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Day #14
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Day #13
Hey there,
I saw her at London! Imagine, of all the millions of people in London, i still manage to bump into her!!!!! She was wif her mates - so i guess it was a good thing i din ask her out. She'd prolly have rejected me - LOL! Can't take too much rejection in me life rite now...
You really shud come to London - the bookshops here are lovely. We could just hang out all day, going from one bookshop to another - and spending all our money!!!
So hard not to think of you when i'm in London. Then again, so hard not to think of you, period.
I saw her at London! Imagine, of all the millions of people in London, i still manage to bump into her!!!!! She was wif her mates - so i guess it was a good thing i din ask her out. She'd prolly have rejected me - LOL! Can't take too much rejection in me life rite now...
You really shud come to London - the bookshops here are lovely. We could just hang out all day, going from one bookshop to another - and spending all our money!!!
So hard not to think of you when i'm in London. Then again, so hard not to think of you, period.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Day #12
Hey there,
It has been a funny day. So typical of "me" day!
Was planning to ask this girl out. I was working on the morning shift while she on the evening shift. I told i'd go see her during her shift - and was gonna ask her!
The evening shift usually finishes at 9 pm. I got there at 8:45 - and everyone has left!!!!!
What the...????
I could have gone earlier - but i procrastinated. The story of me life-eh?
Have i "missed" you too?
It has been a funny day. So typical of "me" day!
Was planning to ask this girl out. I was working on the morning shift while she on the evening shift. I told i'd go see her during her shift - and was gonna ask her!
The evening shift usually finishes at 9 pm. I got there at 8:45 - and everyone has left!!!!!
What the...????
I could have gone earlier - but i procrastinated. The story of me life-eh?
Have i "missed" you too?
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Day #11
Hey there,
It has been an... interesting day? Had communion again. Communion seemed to be guaranteed tear-jerkers for me lately!
I thought i had been cool I'm fine. Been thru this kinda situations before. god is helping me thru. I'm strong.
I'm not. Deep inside, i'm hurting. So bad. I've only managed to really connect with 2 people in my whole life. One is married. The other? Well, you dun seem to care for me. It is so sad.
It came to a point when for the first time, i actually considered regretting the day i met u. But i can't. How can i?
Because of you, my life has changed for the better. Sure, there has been lots of tears and heart-aches. But it's worth it. It really is.
Yes, even if you dun talk to me anymore - and it seems like tt's the way it's gonna be.
It has been an... interesting day? Had communion again. Communion seemed to be guaranteed tear-jerkers for me lately!
I thought i had been cool I'm fine. Been thru this kinda situations before. god is helping me thru. I'm strong.
I'm not. Deep inside, i'm hurting. So bad. I've only managed to really connect with 2 people in my whole life. One is married. The other? Well, you dun seem to care for me. It is so sad.
It came to a point when for the first time, i actually considered regretting the day i met u. But i can't. How can i?
Because of you, my life has changed for the better. Sure, there has been lots of tears and heart-aches. But it's worth it. It really is.
Yes, even if you dun talk to me anymore - and it seems like tt's the way it's gonna be.
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Day #10
Hey there,
I'm getting better. I mean, u are not affecting me that much anymore. Sure, it hurts. And it's so hard not to get angry at you. I wish i could. One moment, i was the awesome fella, the dream guy. The next?
Busy-ness is ... well, i ... better not say anything i might regret.
OK. You are busy.
I shall leave u undisturbed - by me anyways. I get the message.
I'm getting better. I mean, u are not affecting me that much anymore. Sure, it hurts. And it's so hard not to get angry at you. I wish i could. One moment, i was the awesome fella, the dream guy. The next?
Busy-ness is ... well, i ... better not say anything i might regret.
OK. You are busy.
I shall leave u undisturbed - by me anyways. I get the message.
Friday, July 14, 2006
Day #9
Hey there,
You know something? I'm beginning to understand more and more about yr feelings for him. I dun want to, but i am.
You 2 have something that i can never have - you have a "past", a history together. That makes it so real. And letting go of him is like removing a piece of yourself.
Wan is back.
Well, she is still married! But she is back. And i'm jus so surprised at how that is affecting me! I thought it won't. Never dreamed that it would.
It's funny how i used to write to her talking about you. Now i'm writing to you talking about her.
Life is funny - if we get to see the humourous side of things...
You know something? I'm beginning to understand more and more about yr feelings for him. I dun want to, but i am.
You 2 have something that i can never have - you have a "past", a history together. That makes it so real. And letting go of him is like removing a piece of yourself.
Wan is back.
Well, she is still married! But she is back. And i'm jus so surprised at how that is affecting me! I thought it won't. Never dreamed that it would.
It's funny how i used to write to her talking about you. Now i'm writing to you talking about her.
Life is funny - if we get to see the humourous side of things...
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Day #8
Hey there,
Guess what? W asked a mutual fren today for me e-mail add. Wonder wat is that all about.
It was strange as feelings came back - feelings which i thought were gone long ago. It was just there, stagnant, at the bottom, until sumthing like this stirs it up again...
I wanted to tell her how i felt for her all these years.
I wanted to tell her about you!
As usual, am thinking too far ahead...
Take care. God bless.
Guess what? W asked a mutual fren today for me e-mail add. Wonder wat is that all about.
It was strange as feelings came back - feelings which i thought were gone long ago. It was just there, stagnant, at the bottom, until sumthing like this stirs it up again...
I wanted to tell her how i felt for her all these years.
I wanted to tell her about you!
As usual, am thinking too far ahead...
Take care. God bless.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Day #7
Hey there,
It was nice to get a text msg from u again. I actually kinda regret not offering to call u up to chat - u sounded so down. But no regrets, i guess. I know it'd be better if i jus refer u to Him - and not to meself.
U know sumthing? I'm getting used to this, actually! It jus occurred to me today! It's like W all over again - loving someone who does not feel the same way about me. I've been thru it for so long that goin thru it again wif u is almost like natural! Sad, eh?
And dun ask me again how i am. If u do, i'll reply "Well, other than the fact that the person whom i'm crazy for is like more than 10 thousand km away, and that she never replies me letters, and when i do talk to her, she tells me how she misses some other guy, how wonderful he is etc., - other than goin thru all this, i'm kinda fine!"
I'm oso trying to find satisfaction in Him. It has been yeilding fruits.
I hope u'd get the same results.
Take care. God bless.
It was nice to get a text msg from u again. I actually kinda regret not offering to call u up to chat - u sounded so down. But no regrets, i guess. I know it'd be better if i jus refer u to Him - and not to meself.
U know sumthing? I'm getting used to this, actually! It jus occurred to me today! It's like W all over again - loving someone who does not feel the same way about me. I've been thru it for so long that goin thru it again wif u is almost like natural! Sad, eh?
And dun ask me again how i am. If u do, i'll reply "Well, other than the fact that the person whom i'm crazy for is like more than 10 thousand km away, and that she never replies me letters, and when i do talk to her, she tells me how she misses some other guy, how wonderful he is etc., - other than goin thru all this, i'm kinda fine!"
I'm oso trying to find satisfaction in Him. It has been yeilding fruits.
I hope u'd get the same results.
Take care. God bless.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Day #6
Hey there,
It was nic to chat wif you again. Could you tell that i din wanna get off the line?
U did say that it has been super busy for you. Well, i guess busy is good, isn't it? I like it when it gets busy at work. No time to think much bout stuffs.
Still, no matter how busy i get, i'd still make time for things which are important - or which i value. I'm speaking only for meself, of course.
Still, i'd think that being so alike, no matter how busy u get, u'd still make time for things - and people of importance.
U prolly do - and i guess i'm not of that much importance to u, am i?
Stupid question.
Take care, ok?
God bless.
It was nic to chat wif you again. Could you tell that i din wanna get off the line?
U did say that it has been super busy for you. Well, i guess busy is good, isn't it? I like it when it gets busy at work. No time to think much bout stuffs.
Still, no matter how busy i get, i'd still make time for things which are important - or which i value. I'm speaking only for meself, of course.
Still, i'd think that being so alike, no matter how busy u get, u'd still make time for things - and people of importance.
U prolly do - and i guess i'm not of that much importance to u, am i?
Stupid question.
Take care, ok?
God bless.
Monday, July 10, 2006
Day #5
Hey there,
I thought I was ok. When u asked me last Friday how i was, i honestly could answer "Good". I really was. Until i talked to you last Friday.
You have this thing of making everyone whom you talk to feel good - or special. Or maybe it's just me.
I was so alright last week. No expectations, nothing.
Now it's seems like i've taken a step back. I'm waiting to hear from you. I'm expecting to hear from you. And yr silence jus kills me.
I'm glad for work - it helps keep u outta me mind. Altho when things get slow and boring, i have to consciously keep you out. In vain, of course. And i dun have Kathy to keep me distracted this week! ;-P
It's ok. Another few more days, more disappointments, and i'll revert back to last week - not expecting and therefore not hurting. I'll get used again to not hearing from you. I'll not miss yr voice.
And then when that happens, i know u'd come back again. That's life. Mine, anyways.
Take care. God bless.
I thought I was ok. When u asked me last Friday how i was, i honestly could answer "Good". I really was. Until i talked to you last Friday.
You have this thing of making everyone whom you talk to feel good - or special. Or maybe it's just me.
I was so alright last week. No expectations, nothing.
Now it's seems like i've taken a step back. I'm waiting to hear from you. I'm expecting to hear from you. And yr silence jus kills me.
I'm glad for work - it helps keep u outta me mind. Altho when things get slow and boring, i have to consciously keep you out. In vain, of course. And i dun have Kathy to keep me distracted this week! ;-P
It's ok. Another few more days, more disappointments, and i'll revert back to last week - not expecting and therefore not hurting. I'll get used again to not hearing from you. I'll not miss yr voice.
And then when that happens, i know u'd come back again. That's life. Mine, anyways.
Take care. God bless.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Day #4
Hey there,
How was your weekend?
I miss that - asking you how was your day - and having you ask me in return how was mine, like you were really interested to know all the mundane things i do.
Altho i guess i never really answered you properly - not lately, anyways. Surely u din wanna know how i had been missing you, how i had been longing to hear from you, how it kills me to think of you and him...
So it was the usual "Alrite". And then a change of subject.
It's funny cuz when i was chatting about you wif a mate earlier today, i was telling him that we - you and i - are no longer in talking terms, not like before. Did we really "peaked on the phone"?
Even now, i wonder why you are so busy - or rather, why you appear so busy, that you dun even check our blog for days! Are you really that busy? Or have you lost interest? Did you wake up one day and jus told yrself that i'm not real?
The World Cup 2006 ended today. Wimbledon 2006 ended today oso. Us? Can something which never started end? I feel so far away from you... stupid thing to say since we are literally so far away. But u know wat i mean.
Still, u are never far away from me thoughts.
Hope u think of me once in a while...
Take care. God bless.
How was your weekend?
I miss that - asking you how was your day - and having you ask me in return how was mine, like you were really interested to know all the mundane things i do.
Altho i guess i never really answered you properly - not lately, anyways. Surely u din wanna know how i had been missing you, how i had been longing to hear from you, how it kills me to think of you and him...
So it was the usual "Alrite". And then a change of subject.
It's funny cuz when i was chatting about you wif a mate earlier today, i was telling him that we - you and i - are no longer in talking terms, not like before. Did we really "peaked on the phone"?
Even now, i wonder why you are so busy - or rather, why you appear so busy, that you dun even check our blog for days! Are you really that busy? Or have you lost interest? Did you wake up one day and jus told yrself that i'm not real?
The World Cup 2006 ended today. Wimbledon 2006 ended today oso. Us? Can something which never started end? I feel so far away from you... stupid thing to say since we are literally so far away. But u know wat i mean.
Still, u are never far away from me thoughts.
Hope u think of me once in a while...
Take care. God bless.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Day #3
Hey there,
You finally read me letter!!!!
Sori if it had spoilt yr weekend, or caused distraction. U were meant to read it earlier.
But then again, am i too presumptious to think that the contents of that letter would bother you at all?
Trying to make sense of your text message. Do i detect anger? Sarcasm? It sure wasn't the reaction i was expecting. But it doesn't surprise me. It is ironic that the things you highlighted were not the things i was hoping u'd be thinking about. But was i really expecting anything? Shud i be expecting anything?
Anyways, the fact that u din bother to read me letter - knowing that i have been all along writing daily to you - shows how much u value them.
Hope you have a good day ahead - you did say u were "ok". Why shudn't u be?
Take care.
You finally read me letter!!!!
Sori if it had spoilt yr weekend, or caused distraction. U were meant to read it earlier.
But then again, am i too presumptious to think that the contents of that letter would bother you at all?
Trying to make sense of your text message. Do i detect anger? Sarcasm? It sure wasn't the reaction i was expecting. But it doesn't surprise me. It is ironic that the things you highlighted were not the things i was hoping u'd be thinking about. But was i really expecting anything? Shud i be expecting anything?
Anyways, the fact that u din bother to read me letter - knowing that i have been all along writing daily to you - shows how much u value them.
Hope you have a good day ahead - you did say u were "ok". Why shudn't u be?
Take care.
Friday, July 07, 2006
Day #2
Hey there,
I was surprised at how nice it was to hear your voice again.
I was saddened at the seemingly reluctance in your reaction when i asked if you are free to talk for a while.
I was puzzled at how you sounded sorry when i said i better go.
I was wondering if you could detect something was different when you asked me a couple of times if i was alrite.
Do you know that it was cloudy wif intermitten rain thruout the day in London today? The only time when the sun shone on me was when i spoke to you.
I saw some lilies - and i took these pics for you. Hope you like them.
I was surprised at how nice it was to hear your voice again.
I was saddened at the seemingly reluctance in your reaction when i asked if you are free to talk for a while.
I was puzzled at how you sounded sorry when i said i better go.
I was wondering if you could detect something was different when you asked me a couple of times if i was alrite.
Do you know that it was cloudy wif intermitten rain thruout the day in London today? The only time when the sun shone on me was when i spoke to you.
I saw some lilies - and i took these pics for you. Hope you like them.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Day #1
Hey there,
I made it a point to write to you everyday. For obvious reasons, i can't do that the usual way any more - not after me last letter to you.
So it'll be here now. You'll prolly never get to read these letters... but then again, me dun think u are interested anyways.
As it is, you prolly haven't even read me last letter to you - the one telling you basically.... goodbye.
I dun know wat happened along the way. Could it be we peaked too early?
I hate it when i am right all the time - i knew that the way things started so fast, it'd prolly end jus as fast. Just one month and one week plus...
I'm trying to get on life without you. It's actually much easier than i thought it would be! Maybe the pressure is off. The expectations are gone. Life goes back to wat it used to be. Alone again, naturally - and lovin' it!
I was deleting off all yr text messages from me mobile - but typing them all and saving them in me laptop. I was surprised at the kind of things which were said between us - and shocked that the feelings that were expressed jus a couple of weeks ago seem to have disappeared. You used to contact me daily - text msg, e-mail, our blog. And on those days that u din, u'd contact me again a.s.a.p. and apologised for the silence.
Now u dun even check our blog regularly - u havent done do for a couple of days.
Am i really that forgetable?
I won't forget you, tho. Never.
I dun miss you, tho. Not yet anyways. Maybe i'm over it at the moment - cried all i could cry, missed you like crazy, died over and over again... i guess it jus feels good to finally accept it - you rather be wif him. Me? I'm unreal - jus a photo on a blog, some words on a mobile text msg, a distant voice over the phone. Who was i kidding when i thought i could be someone real to you? Prolly just meself.
Take care. God bless.
I made it a point to write to you everyday. For obvious reasons, i can't do that the usual way any more - not after me last letter to you.
So it'll be here now. You'll prolly never get to read these letters... but then again, me dun think u are interested anyways.
As it is, you prolly haven't even read me last letter to you - the one telling you basically.... goodbye.
I dun know wat happened along the way. Could it be we peaked too early?
I hate it when i am right all the time - i knew that the way things started so fast, it'd prolly end jus as fast. Just one month and one week plus...
I'm trying to get on life without you. It's actually much easier than i thought it would be! Maybe the pressure is off. The expectations are gone. Life goes back to wat it used to be. Alone again, naturally - and lovin' it!
I was deleting off all yr text messages from me mobile - but typing them all and saving them in me laptop. I was surprised at the kind of things which were said between us - and shocked that the feelings that were expressed jus a couple of weeks ago seem to have disappeared. You used to contact me daily - text msg, e-mail, our blog. And on those days that u din, u'd contact me again a.s.a.p. and apologised for the silence.
Now u dun even check our blog regularly - u havent done do for a couple of days.
Am i really that forgetable?
I won't forget you, tho. Never.
I dun miss you, tho. Not yet anyways. Maybe i'm over it at the moment - cried all i could cry, missed you like crazy, died over and over again... i guess it jus feels good to finally accept it - you rather be wif him. Me? I'm unreal - jus a photo on a blog, some words on a mobile text msg, a distant voice over the phone. Who was i kidding when i thought i could be someone real to you? Prolly just meself.
Take care. God bless.